In honor of our new “How To (Really) Love Your Body” course that we’ll do in the Normal Eaters Club (starting 9/4 if you want to join!), I wanted to do a post on the 3 mistakes you’re making when trying to love your body.
These 3 things are roadblocks in our journey to full body acceptance, so it helps to begin to loosen our belief in them.
In no particular order, here they are!
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Thinking You Need To Lose Weight Before You Accept Your Body
If you had told me after I’d gained 40 pounds that body acceptance could be found right where I was, I definitely wouldn’t have believed you.
(So I get how most people think the opposite: that being a different size IS what will give them acceptance…)
But this is what keeps us stuck in NOT accepting our bodies.
If we believe self-love is “over there”, we really never get there. It’s an ever-moving goal that we never actually reach. It’s always 5 more pounds, 25 more pounds or 55+ more pounds away.
If you’re thinking “yea but for me, I really NEED to lose weight. I’m uncomfortable in my body and can’t move as easily, so I WILL accept myself more when I lose just a little bit of weight…”
I’m challenging you to rethink this mindset. Acceptance begins now. (But it doesn’t mean you’re resigned to never losing weight…see #3!).
It begins the moment you realize that whether you’re 110 pounds or 310 pounds, you are STILL enough. Weight loss never brings inner acceptance. Sure, it can help you more more easily, run with your child, or have fewer aches and pains.
But it doesn’t fill the deep insecurity and inner self-loathing that we have. You can simultaneously accept AND still want to change 🙂
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Trying To “Get There” And Be Done
If I had a sheet of “Lessons I Must Learn In This Life”, this would be #1 🙂 It drives me nuts sometimes that life doesn’t work like this!
I wanted to get to a point of being “done” with my food/body journey. Sometimes (ok, often!) I secretly wish I could get to the “finish” line in running a business (where it’s not so damn hard!). I get annoyed at times that I have to continuously “work” on my relationship to keep it filled with love and connection.
So, yes, despite the fact that we all wish we could get “there” and be done, it’s not really the way life works 🙂
When you can get on board with body acceptance being a practice, then it releases some of the “stuckness” and you actually begin to feel some progress!
You’ll never get “there” and be done. Sure, you can feel comfortable in your skin and feel a sense of love for yourself. It’s just that you’ll continually deepen this sense of acceptance as you go deeper into it!
(*Which is good news, because if you’re never done, then you can never get it “wrong”!)
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Believing If You Accept Your Body, You Can’t Change/Won’t Lose Weight
I’m raising my hand because I fought this one for many, many years!
Acceptance is often confused with resignation. We think that if we accept our bodies, we’ll remain overweight, stuck and miserable.
But acceptance isn’t a resignation. It’s a making-peace-with, a letting-go-of, and a leaning-into where we are (instead of fighting it tooth and nail).
Believe it or not, softening into acceptance is what actually frees us up TO change.
Acceptance isn’t a sign of being weak. It’s a sign of strength and courage. To say “Yes, I still intend to change, I want to come back into balance in my body AND I also acknowledge that where I am is okay” is a powerful statement to the Universe.
*To clarify, you may not LIKE where you are, but you can still accept it. (Yes, try to wrap your brain around that one!).
Let’s say for example, you get a flat tire on the side of the highway. You may not LIKE that it happened, but you have one of two choices: 1) To be angry, pissed off and not resolve the issue or 2) Accept it happened and roll into action.
